4.21.2011

What Size Are YOUR Hailstones?????

Usually hailstones are described as being pea-sized - or nickel-sized - maybe golf ball-sized - and occasionally baseball-sized. But tonight the weatherman added two (?) more sizes to the list - ping-pong ball-sized and hen egg-sized. Really??????

Isn't a ping-pong ball about the same size as a golf ball? And hen eggs - is that different from rooster eggs?? Or duck eggs? Goose eggs? Ostrich eggs? Turtle eggs? The list could go on forever.

But suppose we stick to hen egg-sized hailstones. What size hen eggs? You know, there are pee-wee, small, medium, large, extra-large and jumbo hen eggs. We've just opened a whole new descriptive arena for a weatherman with too much time on his/her hands.

What about tornadoes? Tornadoes are defined as funnel or a cone-shaped? Is that a "funnel" cake? Or maybe the top of a Dairy Queen ice cream cone?  Also there's the "wedge" tornado, the "stovepipe," or the "rope" - a wedge of what? Pie? Cheese? How big is the stove to which the pipe is attached? What kind of rope are we talking about? There's wire rope, clothesline rope, braided rope, and on and on.

So, let's get back to the old standard of the K.I.S.S Principle, guys? I like my hailstones sized like peas, marbles, golf balls or baseballs. And PLEASE - don't tell me Clay County reported softball-sized hail last night!

 

4.20.2011

Stanley "Meathead" Chewbacca

When I adopted Stanley, his shelter name was Sal. Now, I think dog names need to have 2 syllables, so when you call them there's a rhythm to it - so I decided on Stanley. Stan - ley! I like that! Has a nice flow to it. Of course, he's rather silly-looking (don't tell him I said so!), kind of like an alien or something, and he acts like a dork, so his second name became Meatball. He seems to be okay with that. But his last name came about because of this habit he's had ever since he moved in... if it's out of place, it's his. Period. End of discussion.

Don't leave the big package of toilet paper in the floor of the closet. It doesn't belong there - it belongs under the bathroom sink. Otherwise, it's a toy. Same for the roll of brown packaging paper that fell off the dryer onto the floor - Stanley's! A basket full of assorted colors of yarn and knitting needles sitting next to the armchair - where a person would keep it handy for quiet moments in the evening - NOT!  A creative dog can create all sorts of designs and paths through the house with toys like that.

So, yesterday I left Sadie's Calming Tablets on the coffee table and went out for just about 30 minutes and - Yep! Chewbacca strikes again! Thus, the picture above. I'm glad I wasn't gone any longer or I might have had the calmest dog on the planet.

All those years my Mom spent trying to get me to keep my room clean - all she needed was a Stanley Meathead Chewbacca!